Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Making Long Distance Relationships Work


According to Joe Tracy, publisher of Online Dating Magazine that
being in a long distance relationship isn't easy. It requires very strong trust, commitment, guidelines, and communication. Studies show that a majority of people involved in long distance relationships eventually break up. That's why you see so many "experts" proclaiming that long distance relationships are a bad idea and don't work. Yet if you learn to master communication and set the parameters of your relationship, it can work. It's an uphill battle, but it
is possible
, and many people do eventually become happily married as a result of being in a long distance relationship.

5 Tips to a long distance relationship and will help you achieve a lasting love.

1) Establish the relationship rules and parameters
In a study of long distance relationships, Dr. Greg Guldner found that 70% of couples in a long distance relationship who did NOT set rules, or deal with changes, ended up breaking up within six months. This means that it is vital that you and your partner set rules and parameters to guide your long distance relationship. This includes an agreement that you will not date others and that you will communicate daily.

2) Communicate Every Single Day
Part of a successful long distance relationship is being able to emulate patterns found in regular relationships. One of these patterns is daily communication. The evolution of the Internet is godsend for people who are in long distance relationships. Not only can you communicate via email and instant messaging for free, but you can also send text messages through your mobile phones.

3) Express Your Feelings
Learning to express your feelings to your long distance partner in email, IM, and on the phone is important for the growth and stability of your relationship. One of the ways it increases your relationship stability is by providing "reassurance" to the other person about your commitment to him/her. When you express your feelings, you are letting your partner know that you are committed to making the relationship work.

4) Never Make Assumptions
Always be clear about your relationship with each other. Don't assume that your long-distance partner knows your feelings - share them. Good or bad, be clear about how you feel about the relationship. Assumptions kill many relationships, while clear communication helps relationships succeed. Perhaps Henry Winkler put it best when he said, "assumptions are the termites of relationships." Let your partner clearly know your ambitions, fears, feelings, and desires. This will allow him/her to share something deeper with you as you both work together towards mastering your communication abilities.

5) Trust One Another
Low self-esteem and a lack of trust can ruin wonderful relationships.

Your long distance relationship can work if you put the time and effort into making it work. As Dr. Phil says, "If you're in love with somebody, you will swim the stream, you will climb the mountain, you will slay the dragon..."


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